Whiskey Lullaby
by WhiteFeather1965
Summary: A Scarecrow and Mrs. King fanfiction from my plot bunny files and my answer to my challenge to have a character get falling down drunk. Lee goes to visit Amanda and finds her in the den doing something she shouldn't. Mystery marriage still a mystery.


Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs King is owned by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Enterprises, Ltd. For entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

Summary: A Scarecrow and Mrs. King fanfiction from my plot bunny files and my answer to my challenge to have a character get falling down drunk. Lee goes to visit Amanda and finds her in the den doing something she shouldn't. Mystery marriage still a mystery.

 **Whiskey Lullaby**

Amanda stared through an alcohol induced haze at the shot of whiskey resting on the desk in front of her. It would be her fourth in little less than an hour. She heard a sound at the French doors and brought her head up slowly to meet Lee's angry gaze. She picked up the shot glass and gave Lee a jaunty salute, sloshing the contents of the glass over the desk pad and her hand.

Lee made it to the desk in two long, purposeful strides. Before he could grab the glass, Amanda tossed it back. She whooped and slapped her thigh, as the alcohol burned a stinging path to her stomach.

Lee stood in front of the desk and leaned forward to splay his hands on the desk pad. Catching sight of the bottle, Jack Daniels Black Label, he growled, "Making for the tough stuff, I see."

Amanda reached for the bottle, intending to pour herself another shot and slurred, "Care to join me?"

"No thanks," Lee ground out, then softer. "If misery loves company, I just haven't been that miserable for long, long time. Not since a certain dark haired beauty decided to marry me." He reached to touch her face and distracted her long enough to grab the bottle from her hand before she could fumble off the cap.

Amanda squeaked and hiccoughed. She struggled to her feet, her eyes flashing with righteous indignation and unshed tears. She swayed slightly and as she leaned heavily on the desk her hands landed in the puddled and sticky alcohol she had spilled.

"My God, you really are drunk," Lee said, the incredulousness in his voice evident.

"No, I'm not," Amanda slurred. "You're just a little bit blurry, is all." Blustering drunkenly, she whispered, "What do you care anyway?" Then, she promptly burst into tears. Her tears dripped onto the desk pad and mixed with the spilled alcohol.

Lee pried her hands from her face and for a moment tear bright brown eyes clashed with angry hazel ones.

Amanda stared into Lee's eyes. "You don't care," she harrumphed, a note of finality in her voice.

Swaying precariously, Amanda finally lost her balance and landed heavily in the leather desk chair, nearly tipping it over backwards, then snapping forward with a resounding thump. Caught off guard, Lee could only release her wrists and watch her topple. Even so, he came charging around the desk and dropped to a hunkering crouch beside her chair. Every ounce of anger was gone, replaced by a pain born of empathy.

"Talk to me, Little One," Lee whispered, as he reached to tuck a stray tendril of stringy hair behind her ear. His pet name for her referred to a key chain he had bought for her. It was a quote from William Shakespeare that he thought fit Amanda to a tee, which read: Though she be little, she is fierce. "Tell me what can be so terrible that it has driven you to drink. What happened to all that stuff about setting a good example for the boys?"

Amanda reached across the desk and grabbed a piece of paper. She crumpled it in her hand and shook it in front of Lee's face, mere inches from his nose. "This makes it not matter anymore," she stage whispered, her voice gravelly with emotion.

Lee grabbed the paper from her trembling fingers and read the header. With an indrawn breath, he said, "Joe is suing for custody of Phillip and Jamie?"

Amanda nodded. "Since Joe married Carrie and they bought a house together, he thinks they can provide a more stable home environment for the boys than Mother and me, since his job is soooo much less dangerous than mine."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lee asked.

"I didn't want to bother you with trivialities. Anyway, the outcome won't affect you one way or another. It's not your fight," Amanda said, her voice hollow.

"Trivialities… What gave you that idea? Oh, Amanda. You're my wife, damn it. Anything that affects you affects me. I love you and I love those boys like they were my own sons. This is _our_ fight, yours and mine," Lee said, as he ran the pad of his thumb across her cheek, wiping at the tears and smudged mascara. "Besides, without your boys you wouldn't be you. You'd be a storm cloud of darkness and despair… and I just can't have that. Can't have that at all."

At that moment Lee decided something. He slapped his thighs and got to his feet. He offered his hand to Amanda, who looked blearily up at him from her place in the desk chair.

Amanda got tipsily to her feet and Lee drew her into his embrace. His cheek rested against her hair, as he said, "We're gonna fight this tooth and nail and that's all there is to it. Billy used to be lawyer and he probably knows someone who can help us and give us some idea of what our options are. I'll call him in the morning. In the meantime we need to do something about getting you cleaned up and sober."

With that Lee caught her behind the knees and hoisted her into his arms. He staggered slightly as he adjusted to her weight and for a moment it seemed as though he had been the one who had downed four shots of whiskey and not Amanda. He took her to the landing and up the stairs to her bedroom, where he kicked the door closed and gently set her on the bed.

Amanda lay back on the bed with a pained groan and covered her eyes with a bent elbow. She put up her hands to fend off Lee's gentle ministrations as he began to unbutton her blouse, but her fumbling fingers lost the battle for her. She watched with trusting eyes as he finished unbuttoning her blouse and pulled it off. He untied her running shoes and pulled them off one at a time. When he his hands went to undo the button on her jeans, Amanda's hand blocked his once again.

Lee gently removed her hands and shook his head, as he undid the button on her jeans and pulled down the zipper. "Raise up," he whispered gruffly and pulled her pants down over her hips and down her legs. He pulled her socks off as he went.

Amanda lay unmoving under Lee's burning gaze, as he took in the creamy bits of satin that comprised her underwear. Her other clothes had been dropped unceremoniously on the floor and now lay in an untidy heap beside the bed.

Slowly, Amanda raised her head only to be overtaken by a wave of nausea. She lay back with another agonized groan and closed her eyes.

"I'm gonna…" she squeaked a moment or two later and put her fingers to her lips. Lee watched as she proceeded to turn at least three shades of green.

"Not here, you're not," Lee said. He listened to Amanda make sickening gagging noises in the back of her throat.

He hustled her immediately to the bathroom and helped her kneel in front of the toilet. He placed a gentle steadying hand on the back of her neck and held back her hair with his other hand as Amanda heaved up her toenails.

Somewhere in her alcohol hazed brain, Amanda registered that other than proposing to her in the den of a deadly terrorist when faced with certain death, this had to be one of the most romantic things he had ever done for her.

When she was done, Lee flushed the toilet and helped her sit on the closed lid. He ran a cool wet cloth over her face and then laid it over the back of her neck. Crouching solicitously in front of her, he offered her a cup of cool water to rinse her mouth.

Amanda looked up into the hazel eyes mere inches from hers and asked, "Do you think I'm more trouble than I'm worth?"

Lee blinked and paused for a long moment at this. There had been a time when he would have answered her softly spoken question with a hearty yes, but that time was long past now. He tapped his chin with a long forefinger for effect and said, mock seriously, "Well, you are a lot of trouble. I will give you that."

When Amanda opened her mouth to protest, Lee laid a gentle finger on her lips to stifle a possible ramble and continued.

"But not more than you're worth. Never that, Little One. Never in a million years," Lee said and shook his head back and forth. His fingers came around to cup her chin as he looked deeply into her eyes. "You're worth so much more to me than that… so much more." He wobbled her chin playfully and said, "I love you and don't you ever forget it."

Amanda reached to touch his face and said, shaking her head, "I love you. My Gosh, do I love you."

Lee took her hand and got to his feet. He pulled her to her feet and led her back to the bed. As he finished tucking her in and began to move away from the bed, Amanda said something that stopped him in his tracks.

Out of the blue or so it seemed to Lee, Amanda said, her voice so soft that Lee had to strain to hear her, "Make love to me, Lee. I'm numb. Make me feel like a real flesh and blood woman. I haven't felt like that in such a long time."

Lee turned and came to sit next to her on the bed. "Shhhh," he crooned and placed a gentle finger on her lips once again. He looked at her and solemnly shook his head. "Not this way, Little One. Not this way." His voice was strained as he continued. "When I make love to you, I want you to be all you. I want you to feel and remember every little thing I'm going to do to you and for you."

He let out a long sigh and reached to push a lock of hair off of her forehead. "Now, it's time for you to sleep this off. I'll be on the couch in the den if you need me. I'll see you in the morning."

Lee tucked the comforter under her chin and planted a butterfly soft kiss on her forehead.

"Why can't you stay?" Amanda asked.

"Because, Little One," he said and paused to touch the tip of her nose with his forefinger. "I can't trust myself to keep my hands off of you. Now go to sleep."

"Can you stay with me at least until I fall asleep?" Amanda entreated.

Lee relented and sat down next to her on the bed once again. He smoothed sweat soaked tendrils of hair off of her face and stroked her cheek, as he crooned, "Go to sleep, Little One. Go to sleep now."

Amanda fought the hypnotically soothing effect of Lee's voice until her eyes finally fluttered closed and did not reopen. At last she slept, trusting Lee to keep her safe through the night.

Lee tucked her hand under the comforter and watched her for a few moments, her breasts rising and falling with each measured breath. It was a rare treat indeed for Lee to observe Amanda, a woman who seemed to be in constant motion and always chattering about one thing or another, completely at rest, calm and at peace.

Assured she was asleep at last, Lee stood up, but instead of going downstairs to the den as he had told Amanda he would, he glanced toward the corner of the bedroom where the glider rocker he had bought her for her last birthday stood. He touched her face and kissed her on the forehead one more time before he moved to the rocker. He sat down and was gratified to find it made no sound as he rocked back and forth. Amanda must keep it well oiled.

As he began his vigil over the bed and its alcohol impaired occupant, he reflected on his refusal to take advantage of Amanda in her inebriated state.

Though it had been several weeks since they had been able to spend any real time together as husband and wife, he just couldn't do that to her. He just couldn't.

She would never know and he would never tell her what it cost him not to have his way with her as she had asked, to tuck her under the comforter and just let her go to sleep. It was sacrifice he was willing to make if it helped Amanda understand that her trust in him was not misplaced. He would rather die than see distrust in her eyes.

Tomorrow would be soon enough to begin the battle for Amanda to keep her boys. He knew to the marrow of his bones that Amanda was a good mother and he made a vow to himself that he would do anything in his power to help her prove it and keep her boys.

He pulled the wash softened throw blanket off the back of the chair and drew it around himself. He would be nearer than Amanda thought he would be should she call out to him in the night. He glanced one more time at Amanda before he snuggled down and as he closed his eyes, a satisfied grin played about his lips.


End file.
